Never Tell A Story Without A Point

I was told recently to never tell a story without a point and never have a point without a story.

I work in a male dominated industry full of stereotypical “Type A” personalities. That does not mean women can not do well in Wildlife Management, but it does mean when you get a bunch of wildlife control operators (WCOs) in a room it quickly becomes a “trap” measuring contest as to whose revenues are highest, who caught more raccoons this season than others, and my all time favorite is the “war stories” of the grossest, meanest, or most technically difficult removal one has performed.

As many of you who know me can attest, I am a bit of an outlier. I care little about much of what the rest of the WCO “alphas” care for, however, I do have a “war story” that tops all who hear it.

Almost 10 years ago, I was a pest management technician in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. The difference between wildlife management and pest management comes down to legs. More than 4 legs, it becomes the bug hunters arena. I chose to start Huntsman as a “4 legs and fewer company” and avoid having to deal with the likes of roaches, termites, and bed bugs. Both industries protect health and property, both industries remove unwanted pests from a home/business, and both industries have their share of “interesting stories”.

This story takes place in a 7 building 400+ unit apartment complex that specializes in affordable rent. I would stop out once a week and visit the management office at the complex to find out which of the 400 units needed service that week. Usually it was a bed bug treatment, a few cockroach clean outs, and checking some mouse traps. This particular week  had a “retreat” for flies and maggots in an apartment we had treated the week before. The tennant was claiming the kids in the building were stepping in dog feces with fly eggs in it, tracking it in the halls, and the eggs would hatch and the maggots would then enter her unit, go through her hallway and living room, and then go into her bathroom and become flies.

I thought it was a bit odd, but I had learned early in my career that nothing is “too weird” to be true in this industry. I spent time inspecting the hallway, the door threshold, the entryway, the floors, the living room, then finally the bathroom. In all of the other places I inspected, the ONLY place I was finding evidence of fly larvae was in the bathroom. There is a distinct way to tell if fly larvae is newly hatched or if they are actively feeding. I will spare the disgusting details and just tell you, I know the difference. 

These larvae were well fed, and I had found some old pupal casing in the medicine cabinet. This was the larvae’s last stop before becoming adult flies. There had to be a breeding and feeding site near by. As I was inspecting around the rest of the bathroom I felt something fall on my head. I took off my hat and looked at it, and sure enough there was a very plump and recently fed larvae on the bill of my company cap. I proceeded to look into the bathroom exhaust vent and located a large grouping of larvae farther back in the vent. I made the assumption that a bird or small animal had died in the vent system ( this complex was notorious for birds, squirrels, and mice getting into the bathroom exhaust vents) and treated with a residual insecticide. 

I informed the management office of my findings and recommended that the building maintenance team give the pesticides a day or so to kill off the larvae, and then to clean and clear the exhaust vent to remove the food source and breeding site.

I thought that was the end of it. I could not have been more wrong. Three days later, the complex calls me, says they cleared out the vent, but the resident was complaining the flies were back and they were so bad she was spending the night in a hotel. The management company demanded I come out and inspect right away and retreat. They stated if I did not solve the problem, they would seriously consider cancelling their contract along with the 14 other large properties in the region our company serviced. No pressure huh?

SO back to the building and unit I go, and as soon as I entered the bathroom, I confirmed everything the tenant had said. The fly larvae were three times the quantity they were just days before. And this time EVERY larvae looked well fed. I was baffled. There was no smell of rot or decay, the complex maintenance team had cleaned and cleared the vent, where in the heck were these larvae coming from? Not being able to locate the source, the best I could do was treat the vent again, and hope this time it did the trick. I went back to the management office with my tail between my legs, tried my best to explain I did everything I knew and was trained to do, but could not guarantee the problem would be solved unless we were able to find the source. I asked for the management company to notify the tenant of the units surrounding the affected unit that I wanted to inspect them the next day to hopefully find a source. They said they would and I left for the day and went home to try and figure out what I was missing. 

A little after dinner I received a call on my company cell phone from the manager of the apartment complex. She started by saying “Ryan, I am SOOO sorry. I understand you did everything you knew to control the flies in Mrs. (Smith’s) unit. The problem was not the vent. When we went to notify neighboring tenants of your inspections tomorrow. Our staff noticed a crud load of flies around the door to the tennant above her. When we knocked on the door there was no answer, we entered the unit and found the tenant had passed away in the bathroom. The cops said he had been dead for almost a week…. We need you to treat that unit tomorrow for flies”

So what was the point to my story? I mean, I can’t tell a story without  a point right?

No point, no lesson, no wisdom of truth. Just a “war story” I bring out every so often when people ask me “What’s the grossest thing you have ever dealt with?”

My answer… “when a maggot that had been feeding off a week old dead body fell on my head and I picked it up with my bare fingers to inspect it.”

Till next time… see ya folks.